To sleep, perchance to dream…
As the virtuous were rewarded with
the sleep of the just, beneath the shroud of night that wrapped black
wings around Hogwarts, two minds were alert, pondering a shared
wakefulness amid so much slumber. It was as though the dormitory was
filled with the dead, as the rippling sighs from white throats were
mute in the heavy air, no sound coming from Harry’s friends even though
they were scant feet away.
The wind howled its demented chorus
outside the window, lashing bullets onto the glass, the ground slowly
freezing to the colour of the iron skies. Harry was warm in the middle
of so much ice. And content. The wind did not bother him when it did
not rend his skin with its claws, nor did the rain when it was outside
his window. It was a rare moment that he felt safe, and such is the
irony of safety that it is found sometimes in the most incongruent of
places.
In Draco Malfoy’s arms.
Wrapped like one.
Embalmed to his skin, Draco’s body was twined round him, through him,
inside him; everywhere and nowhere at once because it was so strange
and yet Harry could not have felt more secure. Entombed together as
they were beneath the red and gold of the Gryffindor coverlet, closed
in their woollen womb, the rest of the world seemed a thousand miles
away.
Harry watched Draco’s chest rising and falling. He had
mapped it with his tongue, followed the distinct ridges to the line of
silver hair, to an aching lust and a need recognised and met. It was
smooth and flawless, that skin, that alabaster, stretched as it was
over a cathedral of bone.
Harry raised his mouth to touch
Draco’s. It was warm and moved softly beneath his lips. He felt it
smile and flitted his tongue over the sharp canine teeth and the soft
palette, tasting the sweetness of tobacco and the bitterness of its
pungent smoke.
“Tomorrow everything goes back to normal,” Draco
was saying. The sound of his voice sounded strangely remote to Harry’s
ears, as though Draco were separated from him by some great distance.
“Normality is relative.”
“The normality of now is the threat of Voldemort and the disapproval of
your friends.”
“That’s the mundane.”
“Are the two mutually exclusive?”
“Hardly ever.”
“Tomorrow,
tomorrow, tomorrow,” Draco muttered idly, and Harry felt his voice box
vibrate in his neck. He kissed it and felt Draco shiver. “Everyone
thinks about tomorrow. What if they died tonight?”
“They’d stop thinking.”
“Or they’d have an eternity of might-have-beens.”
“Today I love you.”
“Tomorrow you might not.”
“Don’t think about that.”
“I
can’t help it,” Draco said, propping himself up on his elbows to regard
Harry with a half-smirk. “I don’t want to forget or be forgotten.”
Something in Harry stirred unpleasantly, like a snake coiled in the pit
of his stomach, ready to strike.
“Voldemort said that to me once,” he said, his blood running cold.
“He said he didn’t want to be forgotten?” Draco’s silver brows knitted.
“Before
he vanished,” he said, “to wherever he is now.” Harry was feeling
distinctly uneasy and the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling.
Something was suddenly very wrong as his scar exploded with pain and he
cried out, clutching his forehead, his vision swimming in and out of
clarity. A moment of frantic greyness gave way to a deep, suffocating
black that swallowed Harry whole.
The pain in his head was
blinding, as fervid an ache as at the moments Voldemort was inside his
mind, the same blistering agony that came with the knowledge that evil
was around him and choking him. He writhed like a snake in the
unbearable heat, the howls of rage of the wind intensified until the
castle was surrounded by a shrill song that battered the masonry and
beat with fists at the very walls.
Voldemort was here. Something
was wrong. Harry was faintly sentient to Draco’s hands on his arms, but
in his mind they were transformed to horrible claws, drawing blood that
ran like the Nine rivers down his arm. His voice, asking what was
wrong, was like a jagged knife in Harry’s ears and he couldn’t stand it
any more, the pain in his scar, the snake inside him, the consciousness
of evil.
Harry opened his eyes.
Draco was looking at him
worriedly, pinning Harry by the arms, his nails leaving little
half-moons in Harry’s skin. He was saying something, his mouth moving,
distorting, the words never reaching Harry’s ears.
Then Harry’s blood froze in his veins.
Draco
was changing, moving in and out of focus, fading to the colour of
nothingness before lancing towards Harry with red brilliance. Harry was
shaking horribly as Draco’s pointed, pale face hardened, his cheekbones
stood razor sharp, his hair shortened to a tousle of brown and his eyes
narrowed into the slits of a snake. Suddenly the arms around him
belonged to no-one and the warm body next to him was that of another.
Harry had seen him in a memory and in his nightmares.
Tom Riddle lay next to Harry.
Draco
had vanished, changed into another sixteen year old boy that had given
his life to evil. Voldemort had returned to England, found his form
once more and his way into Harry’s life. Polyjuice, it had to be
polyjuice.
Harry let out a scream that was silenced by the spell.
Riddle
smiled at him, his nails digging deeper into Harry’s arms, biting him,
rending his flesh and clawing non-stop at Harry’s mouth.
“Potter,” he said. “Potter.”
Harry’s
hands scrambled for something that might help him. They knocked his
glasses from the bedside table, the jug shattered in an arc of
glistening water and books and quills went flying. It was then that his
fingers closed around the cold shaft of Sirius’s knife.
Tom was on his skin, scratching and seeking to pinion Harry, smiling
like a maniac, black eyes melting.
Polyjuice, polyjuice, polyjuice, polyjuice.
Harry forced his elbow into Tom’s neck, making his choke, before taking
the knife and sliding it roughly between his ribs.
Warm,
wet blood exploded from the wound as Harry hacked until he reached
bone. He was drenched in it, the crimson staining his eyes red, the
blood pooling and spurting, warming his hands and drowning him in its
vivid redness. He had expected Tom Riddle to bleed a venomous green but
it was not the case. The arms around him slackened as the piercing
scream ripped through the air and chilled Harry further. He jerked the
knife upwards in a haphazard gash that freed flesh and brought him to
completion. Harry’s arms shook controllably as the snake eyes before
him dulled and the weak heartbeat stopped.
The blood continued to flow.
Harry
breathed hard and fast through his nose. The silencing spell around his
bed meant that the rest of the dormitory was still asleep. The wind had
quieted and the rain had stilled. The world waited with bated breath
for the next move of this murderer, this blood-drenched hero. This
naked boy stained with red and soiled with the life of his enemy.
Destined for madness.
Harry waited until he had stopped shaking
before he opened his eyes. The blood around him was beginning to dry
but yet it still poured forth from the corpse atop him, soaking him
until he could taste its metallic tang.
Tom was dead. He’d done
it. It had been so simple. Polyjuice with a single of Draco’s hairs had
granted him entrance and Voldemort had had Harry at his most
vulnerable, but Harry had triumphed. The battle was won, the enemy was
defeated. Harry had fulfilled his duty, his life no longer had meaning.
Something about this made him sad.
He cradled the chassis of Tom
Riddle to his bloodstained chest, before brushing back silver hair,
closing arctic grey eyes with his fingertips without realising what he
was doing. Harry looked at the face before him and vomited over the
side of his bed.
Draco lay dead, in his arms.
***
There
was a brightness behind his closed eyelids so that they looked red. The
brightness that came from artificial light. Harry opened his eyes
blearily and looked around. Whiteness and brightness and light. The
grey was gone and the shadows dispersed. A snowy perfection constructed
walls around him, a ceiling above his head, curtains before him and
sheets beneath him. He was surrounded by a clinical meticulousness and
it took a minute or two for him to get his bearings.
He was in some kind of ward. A flash of recognition flickered through
his dazed mind as he realises where he was.
He was in St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies.
“Feeling
better?” That drawl, so familiar, so beloved echoed in his ears as
though from a thousand miles away. Harry’s head snapped briskly to his
left, where Draco was sitting, feet on Harry’s bed, smiling softly.
A
hundred images flooded Harry’s mind in the next second. Blood, Draco,
Tom, Rain, Wind, Gryffindor Tower, Knife, Struggle, Draco, Blood.
“What
happened?” Harry asked, trembling slightly as he tried to sit up. That
night seemed as though it were an age ago, and all Harry could remember
was the bone-crushing terror that had stilled his every breath and
broken his soul. “Why am I here?”
“Nightmares,” Draco said
simply, fixing Harry with his grey eyes. “You were having
hallucinations back at Hogwarts and you were brought here because Madam
Pomfrey could do no more to alleviate them.”
“That night…” Harry said with difficulty, looking up at Draco with a
frightened flutter in his chest.
“Was
a nightmare,” Draco finished soothingly. “It was a nightmare, Harry.”
Harry thought his heart would explode with relief, and he sank down
onto the bed again, feeling wave after wave of exhaustion.
“Thank God,” he said, and Draco smiled at him again.
“I have to go in a minute,” he said.
“Why?” Harry asked.
“Things to do,” Draco replied, standing up and leaning over Harry as
though he were going to kiss him.
“I love you,” Harry said quietly, feeling a sense of contentment
permeate his troubled mind.
“I
know you do,” Draco said, a little sadly. The curtains around the bed
were suddenly slid open and a fat, jovial woman with tight red curls
around her heavily made up face wheeled a trolley through.
“Well, well Mr Potter,” she said with a grin. “I see you’re awake.”
“Yes,” Harry said dazedly. Draco hadn’t moved.
“Time to take your potion,” she said, ladling out an acid green mixture
from her portable cauldron.
“Draco,”
Harry said, turning to where the blond stood next to him. Draco was
smiling again, but this time there was something cold about it,
something sinister and heartbreaking.
“What’s that dear?” the
nurse said, bustling forward. She leant over Harry and fussed with his
bed-clothes and Harry felt his heart stop beating in his chest.
She had passed straight through Draco.
Harry started shaking uncontrollably again, his eyes fixed on the
Slytherin through whom the nurse had moved.
“Goodbye,
Harry,” Draco said and straightened up. Bloodstains ran the length of
his torso, blossoming through his clothes, leaving the stain of death
upon him. |
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